Londyn: You Really Aren’t Alone
At six weeks pregnant, I was up at 4:00 a.m. doing a frantic Google search for free therapy for pregnant women. I had just left an unhealthy relationship with the child's father, and I felt free—and then found out I was pregnant. I struggled with the shame of becoming a statistic, another single mom of color. I knew that people would look at me like I was uneducated and ruining my life. And the child’s father was completely unsupportive, so right away I knew I was going to be on my own.
As I Googled, I stumbled across a site called Avail. I wasn’t sure what it would be like but I was desperate for some help.
At my first appointment, I cried as I told my advocate everything that was racing through my mind. I felt like I was suffocating because I didn't feel able to tell anybody else about it.
“The biggest thing that brought me peace at that time was hearing my advocate say, “I’ll see you next week!” Knowing that I would be able to talk to someone was so comforting. It made me feel like I wasn’t by myself anymore.”
The Ticking Clock
The whole time, I felt a clock ticking down. I struggled every day with what to do. When I talked with my advocate, I felt like I could do this and keep my baby. But then I would step outside and all my financial worries and fears over how my friends and family would react crashed down on me. Finally, one day as I sat in the Avail office, I thought, I could do this. I could take care of a baby.
My parents refused to let me stay with them if I kept the baby but Avail had already helped connect me with CHiPS, a free housing program for single moms. At CHiPS, I have my own studio apartment with a fridge and a stove. They also provide for essential baby supplies like diapers, wipes, and a stroller. It's been the perfect place to catch my breath and make a good plan for my son’s and my future.
A New Life
Now I've entered an affordable housing lottery, enrolled my son in daycare so I can keep my full-time job, and have a goal to move into my own place by February. I dream of next Christmas when my son and I will be in our own apartment with a Christmas tree, making new family traditions.
“I think about my friends and my sisters. We’ve all had difficult pregnancies. And now that I’ve found Avail, I realize that we didn’t have to go through them alone. If I hadn’t been able to talk to somebody, I don’t know where I would be right now. I honestly don’t know if my son would be here. But with Avail, I always felt like somebody had my back. I tell others about Avail when I can because I want people to know if you need help, it’s out there. You really aren’t alone.”
Help us be there for women facing unexpected pregnancy so they know they aren’t alone.