Alexandra: From Dark to Light
This story is told by Deitra, the director of our After Abortion Program.
The first time I met with Alexandra, she wouldn't show her face on camera. She had the camera pointed to the ceiling of the hotel room, and the room was very dark. She said she felt hopeless. She’d had a previous abortion which she’d gone through completely alone. She has bipolar disorder and anxiety and was feeling horribly hopeless. I think she was close to giving up completely. On a solo trip to New York, she found us in the middle of the night on a Google search in her hotel room.
She told me she was afraid because she was returning to her home in a week and thought that she had to hurry up and get as much from Avail as she could before she got back, since this was going to be her only time to talk to someone about her story.
After I assured her that we were going to be there for her even when she returned home, we began to unpack everything that she was facing. Her story was wracked with pain. The father of the baby was addicted to drugs and was not interested in pursuing anything with her. She had no self-esteem and was willing to do anything just so that he would love her. As we worked through her story, I encouraged her to engage with her therapist more and address the clinical side as well. We talked a lot about the fact that she was still loved, that she wasn't alone, and that God hadn't forgotten about her.
As we kept meeting, Alexandra began to start showing the edge of her face on camera. I'd see her forehead here or there. I began to see her in rooms that weren't so dark.
She picked up some contract work so that she would go out of the house once or twice a week. Eventually, she cut ties with the father of the baby because it wasn't healthy for her at all. This was really debilitating for her. She had a lot of ups and downs, but she worked so hard. She is now in a healthy new romantic relationship, one that she created really good boundaries around. It’s so exciting to see her letting go of dependence on affirmation and find people who help her be her best self.
Now she's fully on camera and she's smiling. She not only gets out of the house, she's taken another full-time job, and she's fighting for a promotion there. She's returned to school and has a new group of friends. She's reestablished a relationship with her parents, and she is working towards getting an internship at a TV studio where she can work on becoming a reporter.
So the woman who wouldn't even show herself on camera is now confident in appearing on TV.
“That’s the power of unconditional love: moving from darkness to light.”
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